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Not All Who Wander Are Lost – Some Like The Detour

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Wandering Peoples

Not All Who Wander Are Lost – Some Like The Detour

December 5, 2021February 10, 2023

My Baby Needs Glasses – Where Do I Start?

October 16th 2020. That is the day we found out our suspicions were right. Our 6 week old baby boy could not see properly. How much could he? At that point it was implied maybe not at all. Now we know he can indeed see – though we still don’t know how much. He got his first pair of glasses at just 4 months old. Yes you read that right. A baby with glasses! Prepare yourself – nosy, often inappropriate, sometimes downright stupid questions are in store for you. Eventually it may become funny but at first, at least for me, it was hurtful. All the questions and comments were a constant reminder that something was “wrong” with my baby.

Anyways – you need to pick out glasses. Depending on the age of your child you have a plethora of options at the click of a mouse! Thank you online shopping. Miraflex, Nano Vista, DilliDalli, Tomato, and the list goes on. While I can only personally reflect on our experience with tomato brand glasses, I will say this. I am picky. I am one of the most easily annoyed people when it comes to cheaply made products. I have written every major brand you can think of long emails complaining about something they have made, sold, implemented to make my life harder. I can happily say I have never sent one of these emails to Tomato brand glasses. I did write a bad review for the optical shop that sold us our first pair but that is a different issue entirely.

Why do I swear by Tomato? They are childproof. At least they have been for my little monsters. As I stated above, my guy got his first pair at 4 months. What I haven’t mentioned is that he is a twin, and they are the youngest of four kids. The same frames I bought him at 4 months old – TBAC1 the baby line in blue – are the ones on his face right now at 15 months old. They have held up to teething, tug of war, older siblings “wanting to try”, falling out of the stroller, and being tossed at the ground several times a day. They can be pulled by the ear pieces in opposite direction and will pop right back, at least they have

each time my kids have done it. I dislike brands like miraflex that are a hard molded plastic. I, as a glasses wearer myself, would not want to put those on or keep them on.

They are completely adjustable. With every set of frames you get a fancy little kit. In this kit you will find:

  • 2 stay put straps in a coordinating color
  • 3 different nosepieces so you can get that perfect fit
  • A tiny screw driver and extra screws
  • A second set of ear pieces(yes these come in handy!)
  • A microfiber glasses cloth with cute little characters on them
Picture is a white backround with an entire tomato brand glasses kit laid out. Purple glasses at the top of the picture with the cleaning cloth below that and the extra pieces in a case at the bottom. This particular bottom case shows 2 extra purple ear pieces, 2 w2 nose pieces, an extra stay put strap, and a small screw driver.
Picture is a white backround with an entire tomato brand glasses kit laid out. Purple glasses at the top of the picture with the cleaning cloth below that and the extra pieces in a case at the bottom. This particular bottom case shows 2 extra purple ear pieces, 2 w2 nose pieces, an extra stay put strap, and a small screw driver.

The baby line comes in 3 sizes 35, 37, and 39. On the Tomato brand website you will see a specified age range with each size. I, along with many others, have found that the ages dont mean much. Going based off measurements is much more accurate. When we were given our glasses prescription we drove to the only optical shop I was told had tomato brand in the area. I have since learned of 6 others and would go to any of them before going back the the original shop. Places the are selling specialty items – such as glasses for infants – have a responsibility to be well informed. I knew nothing walking into that shop.

I told the woman who was at the counter why we were there. She walked over to a cabinet to get what she referred to as “the baby size”. The proprietor – her mother – corrected her with a, “he will outgrow those in a heartbeat. Show them the TKACs.”. It made sense. Babies grow quickly. We were given a pamphlet of color options, picked, and were told they’d be in a few weeks later.

In the mean time, I found a facebook group for other families with small kids in glasses. That is kind of the thing to do as a mom, isn’t it? Look to social media groups for solidarity? It is what I do, and I am so glad I did! When my sons glasses arrived I put them on him and wasn’t satisfied. Something was wrong. I hastily posted a photo in the group. We had ordered the TKAC27. Adorable glasses. Brown with little teddy bears on the side.

“We got my little mans glasses. He is 4m old and when he lays down they get pushed forward off his face. What can I do? They’re tomato brand. He is using the strap.”

Picture is of an opened box. Inside is a case wrapped with a red and green cardboard heart. Inside the case is a pair of brown childrens glasses.

This statement is what I posted in the facebook group I had found, along with a picture of the frames. I was on the verge of tears as people started responding. I was irate that I had waited nearly two months for something he couldn’t even wear. I felt like the worst mom in the world. How could I not have known better? How could I have let them sell me these glasses that are several sizes too big and not even meant to hold up to a rambunctious infant as he grows? I was lucky to have been connected with an amazing woman in the group. She gave me her email and was able to help me inform the optical shop of the size they needed to order for my son. They weren’t happy about the exchange, but they accepted my mama bear mode and that I was not pleased with them having misled me.

So what do you need to look for in properly fitting glasses? Per the AAPOS (American Association for Pediatric Opthalmology and Strabismus) eyes should be well centered in the lenses. Glasses are medical devices and need to fit NOW not in a year or twos time. Meaning, contrary to what many opticians say, you do NOT want to buy them with “room to grow.” Kids heads grow much slower than some may think they do. You would never give a small child crutches or a prosthesis sized for a teen or adult because they have “room to grow” right? Yet so many parents are sold teen/adult sized frames for their small children. It’s so frustrating to see that happen. I hope this blog helps even just a few parents steer clear of the mistake I made – not knowing what we needed.

A screen shot from aapos which is the american association for pediatric opthalmology and strabismus. It states the following. Getting a good frame fit by an optician who is experienced in pediatric eyewear is of great importance. The frame sshould be very comfortable with the eye centered in the middle of the lens. The frame should look like it fits the child now - not one that he/she will grow into in a year.
A screen shot from aapos which is the american association for pediatric opthalmology and strabismus. It states the following. Getting a good frame fit by an optician who is experienced in pediatric eyewear is of great importance. The frame sshould be very comfortable with the eye centered in the middle of the lens. The frame should look like it fits the child now – not one that he/she will grow into in a year.
  1. Buy the right glasses for the child’s current physical size.

MOST babies and children have huge heads. This is natural childhood anatomy and children spend a large part of their early years growing into their huge heads! This means that they have very special and different needs when it comes to glasses fittings compared to adults. Because they have closer set features on a disproportionately larger head, Infants and small children do best in glasses that are meant to allow the lenses to be centered over their eyes and that bow out at the temples to accommodate their big heads. Many infant/toddler/small child frames are designed to PURPOSEFULLY bow out at the temples for this very purpose! With adults you don’t need this. As such, opticians will say “temples shouldn’t bow out” and will fit a small child in frames that are several sizes too big. A good fit is one where eyes are as centered as possible in the lenses, meaning the eyes are as centered as possible left to right and top to bottom. This is especially important if your child has a moderate to strong Rx because the less centered their eyes are in the frames, the thicker and heavier their lenses will be.

Picture is of an adorable 4 month old baby boy. He is looking toward the camera. He is wearing a blue and white chevron striped sleep sack and laying on a pink minky dot pillow. He is in a pair of brown tomato brand glasses that are clearly too big for him. The frames extend past the sides of his head and take up a good portion of his face. His eyes are not centered in the frame.
Picture is of an adorable 4 month old baby boy. He is looking toward the camera. He is wearing a blue and white chevron striped sleep sack and laying on a pink minky dot pillow. He is in a pair of brown tomato brand glasses that are clearly too big for him. The frames extend past the sides of his head and take up a good portion of his face. His eyes are not centered in the frame.
Picture is of an adorable 4 month old baby boy. He is looking toward the camera. He is wearing a blue pajama top with sharks on it and a white and blue striped beanie. He is in a pair of blue tomato brand baby line glasses. They do not extend past the side of his head and his eyes are centered in the frames. He is laying on momma's legs facing up toward the camera in the front seat of a car. We were parked.
Picture is of an adorable 4 month old baby boy. He is looking toward the camera. He is wearing a blue pajama top with sharks on it and a white and blue striped beanie. He is in a pair of blue tomato brand baby line glasses. They do not extend past the side of his head and his eyes are centered in the frames. He is laying on momma’s legs facing up toward the camera in the front seat of a car. We were parked.

2. Snug but not too tight fit behind the ears.

The temples should not push on the ear and cause them to bend down. If they can wrap around the back of the ears it will help keep them in place. The great thing about Tomato brand is that the “arms” of the temples can be adjusted in and out as needed as opposed to other brands that need constant reshaping – bending into place – to get a proper fit.

Picture is the side profile of a Caucasian bald baby's head. You can see the temples of the glasses which are blue and curve around the ear. An adult finger is pulling back the ear to show the ear pieces are properly fitted with no gap.
Picture is the side profile of a Caucasian bald baby’s head. You can see the temples of the glasses which are blue and curve around the ear. An adult finger is pulling back the ear to show the ear pieces are properly fitted with no gap.
Picture is the side profile of a Caucasian bald baby's head. You can see the temples of the glasses which are blue and curve around the ear. An adult finger is pulling back the ear to show the ear pieces are not properly fitted and have a significant gap.
Picture is the side profile of a Caucasian bald baby’s head. You can see the temples of the glasses which are blue and curve around the ear. An adult finger is pulling back the ear to show the ear pieces are not properly fitted and have a significant gap.
Picture is the side profile of a Caucasian bald baby's head. You can see the temples of the glasses which are blue and curve around the ear. The ear piece is pushed up above the child's ear and too short to be a proper or comfortable fit
Picture is the side profile of a Caucasian bald baby’s head. You can see the temples of the glasses which are blue and curve around the ear. The ear piece is pushed up above the child’s ear and too short to be a proper or comfortable fit

3. A strap is NOT meant to hold the child’s glasses on.

The straps are not meant to keep the glasses in place and/or worn like goggles – unless you buy the goggles style Nanos. They are supposed to be worn low and loose at the base of the head. You should be able to stick a finger between them and the head. If the glasses don’t stay in place or slide down the nose unless the strap is tight, then they likely do not fit properly and are too big. Straps are intended to keep the glasses from falling to the ground or getting lost if accidentally knocked off the face.

4. Nose bridges are important – adjustable nose pads is where it’s at!

The nasal bridge of the frames should fit well and not be too big/wide which can cause the frames to not stay up (slide down nose constantly)and then the child may end up looking over the lenses instead of through them. Some frames have only the plastic molded bridge while others have nosepads that can be adjusted for the desired fit.

5. Frames should also not be wider than the face.

They also should not rest on the child’s cheeks or nostrils. If you are an adult with glasses you can understand how uncomfortable this would be. Round frames are typically what’s suggested for younger children as you ideally want them to be looking through the lenses at all times. Oval and rectangle frames can leave enough gapping for the child to look over or under the frames – thus making glasses a moot point.

6. What are some brands that are recommended for small kids?

Brands you want to try on an infant/toddler include Tomatos, Dilli Dallis, Miraflex, Zoobugs, Swissflex, Nano, Solo Bambini. Many of these glasses have fit guides that include what age range and PD range is appropriate for each size. This can be used as a starting point but may not be 100% true for every child since some are large and others are small for their age.

7. “Fit Check” photos are great for comparing different brands.

Many people find it helpful to take pictures and post to the For Little Eyes Facebook group for a “fit check”. The best angle for these pictures is 3 to 4 ft away from the child, taken at eye level and zoomed in. Kneeling down in front of your small child will ensure the picture is at eye level and not from above. If taken at an angle the picture can warp the perception of how they truly fit. Using a finger puppet or something interesting to look at might help them look straight ahead. Taking pictures from closer than 3 feet can cause the frames to look bigger than they really are due to the wide angle lens distortion of phone cameras.

8. You DON’T have to buy from the shops inventory or even the shop at all.

 It’s perfectly appropriate to ask them to order smaller sizes to try on. Just because they don’t have them in stock doesn’t mean the brand may not make them in a smaller size. Companies usually have catalogues that show all available sizes and what age they are intended for. You may be pressured into just settling for what they have in store to make the sale and be done with it vs ordering in more frames for you to try on. Don’t let them pressure you. Take your money and business elsewhere if they will not work with you.Sometimes just using the shop as a jumping off point is the way to go. You can leave with a list of brands and sizes you felt like were a good fit and then shop around online.

9. In the USA eye doctors to provide your glasses prescription at NO cost to you.

 
If you live in the USA it is your LEGAL right to walk out of the appointment with your glasses prescription in hand. You shouldn’t even have to ask for it. All Optometrists and Opthalmologists are required by the Federal Trade Commission’s “eyeglass rule”. The eyeglass rule is a law to protect consumers against unethical business practices. The only case in which this may not apply is for those who go to a government employed eye doctor – think VA or on a military base.
 
This means:
  • You do NOT have to order ANYTHING from their optical. Your child’s prescription is yours to take WHEREVER you want, be that them, a different optical shop, or to order online.
  • They cannot charge you an extra fee (outside of what they charge for a refractive exam alone) just to give you your prescription. Contact fitting fees are separate BUT covered under a similar Contact Lenses Rule- see FTC for those regulations. Glasses prescriptions are NOT the same as contact lens prescriptions.
  • They cannot require you to purchase or agree to purchase glasses and/or lenses beforehand in order to perform the exam. The exam transaction is completely separate from any subsequent glasses purchase.
What does this do for you? By having the original Rx in hand at all times you can:
  • Always have the Rx at hand if the glasses break or get lost. If it’s the weekend and your eye doctor’s office is closed you don’t have to wait until they open Monday to have them fax another optical shop the Rx to get started on a replacement pair.
  • Keep track of your child’s vision progression and see how their Rx changes from visit to visit.
 
Some eye doctors will assume you don’t know about the FTC’s Eyeglass Rule and try not to give the Rx to you or the optician will take your Rx and not give it back. Always tell them to make a copy and that you expect your original back. If the eye doctor has an attached optical this is even more common because it behooves them financially not to. You may feel you have no choice but to buy from them, and if your child looses or breaks those glasses you’ll then have to go back to them because you don’t have the Rx. This is unethical AND against the law.
 
Here is the link to the FTC’s website that explains this all in detail. You can report those not following this law to the FTC and also to the Better Business Bureau if they refuse to give you your Rx when you ask for it, or tell you your can’t have it until you pay for a glasses order.
 

Best of luck to you! Be patient and be prepared to push back. There are scores of parents that have been sold terrible fitting glasses because they trusted professionals that didn’t know what they were doing and with being new to a kid in glasses they didn’t know any better themselves. Myself included! I would suggest to anyone new to this – or even the veterans! – to join the Facebook group “For Little Eyes”. You can find the link below or HERE. It really is a wonderful source of support and  education, don’t be afraid to ask questions and post pictures! If you are like myself and don’t post pictures of your child’s face on social media, feel free to ask for someone who will email with you or even reach out to myself through the contact on this page. I am happy to help anyone who needs it. To reiterate, and I can’t stress this enough, do not let any shop pressure you into buying something right away if it doesn’t feel/look right. It’s better to get the right fit the first time than have to fight the battle of returns and reordering once the glasses are made!

Two babies are sitting in their ingenuity brand high chair seats on the dining room floor. The floor is a vinyl plank flooring with a striking collection of browns. They are making a mess with green peas. Both babies are facing the camera. One baby - Aria - is wearing a grey shirt with green lettering and the other - August - is wearing a blue on blue striped romper with a grey rhino on the front. August is wearing his blue tomato brand glasses.
Two babies are sitting in their ingenuity brand high chair seats on the dining room floor. The floor is a vinyl plank flooring with a striking collection of browns. They are making a mess with green peas. Both babies are facing the camera. One baby – Aria – is wearing a grey shirt with green lettering and the other – August – is wearing a blue on blue striped romper with a grey rhino on the front. August is wearing his blue tomato brand glasses.
Two babies sitting in their highchair seats in a bathtub with the shower head running. There a a blue cup stuck to the wall with a suction cup they are both reaching for. Both are facing away from the camera toward the cup. One is wearing blue glasses and the other is not. In the right corner you can see a bottle of Dove brand shampoo. On the left side you can see the brown woodland theamed shower curtain with an assortment of animals on it.
Two babies sitting in their highchair seats in a bathtub with the shower head running. There a a blue cup stuck to the wall with a suction cup they are both reaching for. Both are facing away from the camera toward the cup. One is wearing blue glasses and the other is not. In the right corner you can see a bottle of Dove brand shampoo. On the left side you can see the brown woodland theamed shower curtain with an assortment of animals on it.

Link for the For Little Eyes facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/littlefoureyes/

Link for the Federal Trade Commission and their eyeglass rule: https://www.ftc.gov/…/guidance/complying-eyeglass-rule

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Hi! I am Meagan Peoples - a wife, mother, crafter, baker, and homesteader. Welcome to this glimpse of my life.

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